This is a long one!

For the past several years my favorite saying has been, "God is a trip!" My pastor tells me I should trademark it and put it on a bumper sticker, because it has so many meanings. She is right, of course, but what I mean when I say it is that God never fails to crack me up with his punctuality. He is always, without fail, right on time. Grab a cup of coffee, because I'd love to share a story with you.

In December of 2009, I wrote these thoughts on wealth. What I didn't know then was that the latter half of 2010 and the first half of 2011 would bring financial stress to my household. God was preparing my heart for what was to come. For legal reasons I won't go into the whole story here, but the short version is that Keith's paychecks were scant and never on time. As we struggled intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually with how best to handle this situation, we wanted to avoid using our savings as much as possible. We halted all spending except for gas, groceries, utilities, and mortgage. We did not eat out. We did not buy clothes unless absolutely necessary. I quit my pricey pilates classes until I received gift certificates for Christmas. You get the idea.

In those months God taught me more about myself than I ever could have learned on my own. I realized I had placed too much faith in our nest egg, always assuming we had enough to cover us if something unexpected befell us. Notice I didn't say I assumed we'd be ok because of God's provision. (I wrote here about God pruning me of this misplaced faith, without explaining the details.) Like Francis Chan says in Crazy Love, some Christians arrange their lives so they don't need faith. They take no risks. They give, but not until it is uncomfortable. They live safely. I shudder to admit it, but that was me.

Watching every dollar taught this already-frugal girl how to readjust her priorities and her reasons for saving. I realized we could live on far less than I thought and that I actually wouldn't miss most of what I thought I would miss. (Ok, I did miss sushi.) I also realized I used to save in order to pile up money for vacations and emergencies. Now I save not only for those practical reasons, but also because I can spend it on people who need it more. Certainly, Keith and I made charitable donations before, but that wasn't our purpose in being frugal. Finally, I came to see that we would be ok not because of our nest egg, but because God would provide. Despite the anger I felt towards other people during that time, I can honestly say I never worried that we would find ourselves foreclosing on our home or heading to a homeless shelter. The peace I had was truly supernatural, from the Holy Spirit himself.

I would love to say these changes were an easy and linear process, but that would be far from the truth. During those 9 months or so, I would take one step forward and two steps back. One day I would be totally free from negative thoughts; the next day I would rage inside. How dare this company treat us this way, as if we can live without a salary? As if that's even legal!  God, when will this be over? You could say I felt a bit schizophrenic. The hardest part was knowing Keith and I had been planning to put our house on the market, and now we couldn't. I tortured myself by looking at houses online, wishing we could bite the bullet. I calculated and re-calculated what we could afford, as if the numbers would magically change. It was ridiculous how I could be so free from worry yet so riddled with resentment.

In late April of last year I announced here that Keith had resigned from his company when God made it crystal clear it was time to go. After working the rest of the year on his own, we felt spring 2012 would be the right time to put our house on the market. As you know, we've been working on that for a couple of weeks now, and the house will be listed on MLS tomorrow morning! My approach to this chapter in our lives (looking at houses, calculating what we can afford, etc.) has been completely different this time around. Instead of wondering how much we can spend, I wonder how much we could not spend and still have a safe, comfortable home for our family and our guests.

The other important part of this story is that I had long held two dreams in my heart I'd been afraid of saying out loud:  leading a Sunday school class and writing for a purpose other than memory keeping. Remember what I said about Francis Chan and living too safely? Well, for me it wasn't just about a savings account. I was playing it safe at everything. As you know, I have been teaching Sunday school since last September, and in January I began writing. (By the way, I still don't know what I'm doing, but the picture is slowly becoming more clear.) You could say that 31 is a banner year for Meredith.

What you might have guessed is that during the yucky months I read Crazy Love, as well as David Platt's Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream. I know God worked out more details than I could ever count or even know, but I know for sure that he orchestrated my reading, as well as my thoughts on wealth in 2009. One day I hope I can ask him about his other behind-the-scenes activities in my life. Wouldn't that be a big cup of coffee?

Around the house and in the car

If you spent a day with the Dangels, you would likely hear Henry say the following words or phrases about 50 times.

Okay!
Mama, dookie? (dookie=cookie)
Mama, dancin'! (when he wants music to dance)
S-t-o-p, STOP! (when he sees a stop sign)
GO! (when the light turns green)
Biiiiiiig truck
Hi!
What happened?

He can say anything we ask him to say, or at least try to say it, but these are his favorites. He also loves counting to 20, reading letters, and pointing out shapes and colors. The only letter he recognizes but cannot say is W. We've moved on from circle, square, triangle, and rectangle to diamond and oval.  At church on Sunday he began counting as we entered the parking lot and then exclaimed, "I counted cars!"

Henry continues to love trains, and we are seeing him create stories with them. Last night I heard him making the trains have conversations. Keith came downstairs for dinner and Henry told the trains that was his Dada.

He also loves Buzz Lightyear. Yesterday he insisted Buzz sit with him as he ate breakfast; the left hand held Buzz and the right hand held the spoon. At one point I glanced up and saw Henry put down his spoon, pick up a cereal square, and "feed" Buzz.

Love this boy!

A typical Saturday morning

Perhaps we should show the house like this.

The Makeover

Barring any unforeseen events, the For Sale sign will go in our yard next Thursday. Our realtor gave us a mighty long list of tasks to finish before March 1.

Our first task was subtraction. We eliminated as much as we could from the closets. Here is what the office/loft floor looked like while we sorted and organized. Henry thought it was great fun to play with all his baby toys he'd forgotten about.

Oh, and I better not forget the guest room.

I won't show all the "after" pics of the closets, but if you've ever seen my linen closet, you know this is an accomplishment. (By the way, see that burgundy lump below the toilet paper? That was a gift from Keith when I was pregnant - one of those aromatic things you heat up and put around your neck or put on a sore muscle. It is ah-mazing.)

All cards sent by Meredith will, for the time being, be the store-bought variety, as the crafts are now in storage. (See Buzz on the floor?)

 

 2/3 of Henry's books were boxed and also taken to storage.

 

Next, we tackled the additions. Curtains are pulled back to let in more light. I didn't want to spend a lot on hardware or tassels, so I got these simple ropes for $2.99 each.

The gallery of family pictures is gone, as well as all other family pictures in the house. Oh, wait, this is a subtraction. So shoot me.

Fake greenery was added in a few places. (I will be selling them as soon as we move; holler if you're interested.) Keith says he does not like "using the bathroom with the jungle at my back."

We have also moved a dresser out of the guest room and a TV, a chair, and an ottoman out of our master. Our storage locker is full. We have had the house pressure washed, we're painting the front door tomorrow, and we have planted flowers. (Henry still loves picking flowers, by the way. Sigh.) We've filled nail holes and prepped those walls to be painted this weekend. Keith steam cleaned the upstairs carpet today.

I think we'll definitely be ready for Thursday! This has been a busy couple of weeks for us, but I know it will all be worth it in the end. I wanted to document the craziness for future laughs and for our children.

Making (and recording) memories

Henry is my lovebug. He has always liked rocking, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and any other love-verb you can think of.

His latest mode of affection begins with his usual hug: he loops his arm around my neck and pulls me close. But now he adds this great touch that melts me every single time. He clutches my head to his chest and pats my hair with his soft little hand. All the while he makes his famous love noises. "Awwww, awwwww."

Yesterday evening he was feeling particularly cuddly as I was preparing our pancakes for Shrove Tuesday. (By the way, this is strictly a fun tradition that has everything to do with breakfast for dinner and nothing to do with preparing our hearts for Easter.) After some petting I told him Mama needed to finish cooking in the kitchen. As soon as I got back to the stove I heard, "Mama, more hair. More hair." I wandered back over to his chair; sure enough, he softly giggled and pulled my head to his chest for more loving. Aside from Thomas and Buzz, I really can't think of anything he loves more than cuddles.

Beginnings

When I haven't blogged in several days I start to twitch, so I'm stopping by to catch up on what's been happening at the Dangel house.

First, of course, lots of playing.

And lots of this.

both from iphone

Cleaning, organizing, trips to storage, meeting with the realtor, and staging. And the usual shopping, cooking, work, grading, and church. Keith and I are a little overwhelmed, but I'm excited as well. I look forward to seeing where God takes us, not only geographically but in our souls.

We're turning the page on a new chapter in our family's story, in more ways than one. Age three is approaching for Henry (much faster than this mommy would like!), meaning preschool will start in the fall. He will be making more friends, exploring new things, and learning even more than he already has at home with Mommy and Daddy. Lent begins Wednesday, which means we start a new study in Sunday school, only to be followed by Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream. I read the book last summer and feel excited to share this journey with our class. I'm so grateful that each of the participants seems eager to try whatever I throw at them! I have grown deeply grateful for each person who has made our class a priority in their lives. I started this class in September with big dreams but shaky hope. As usual, I had no reason to fear.

Finally, I have started a deeply personal and long-awaited journey of my own. To make a long story brief, I have answered a call on my life that God whispered long ago; I have begun to write. I don't have a clue what I am doing or what God's intentions are for my words, but I have committed my time and efforts and trust He will bear the fruit of my labor in His time. In just a short while, I've seen how the enemy will try to discourage, distract, and destroy. Every day is a new opportunity to lay this project at God's feet and ask for His blessing and guidance. That in itself is a task worth pursuing, no matter the tangible result (i.e. publishing).

I would love to hear about anything God is doing in my readers' lives as well! We're always on a journey, even if we don't recognize it at the moment.

Henry's pal

Henry's first friend was, of course, his cousin Perrin. They bonded almost instantly (after then-2-year-old Perrin realized Grammy still loved him) and, I believe, will always remain close. Just last night we chatted via Facetime; sadly, when I turned off the phone Henry cried for his cousin.

However, Henry's first non-family friend is Jordan. Since our last play date, Henry has asked me several times, "Where's Jordan?" He is always satisfied when I tell him Jordan is at home or at school.

Last week we drove by a house Keith and I were interested in. (I say "were" because it went under contract on Monday, before our appointment to see it this Friday. Oh well.) I asked Henry if he would like to live in that house someday. His reply: "YEAH! JORDAN!"

So, you tell me. Does this mean he wants Jordan to live there too? Does this mean he thinks Jordan's house is nearby? Does this simply mean he was thinking of Jordan at the time?

The mind of a 2-year-old is a thing of wonder.

Happy and you know it

Henry has loved this song for months, but he recently added the Amen verse. I pray he will always be this enthusiastic about Jesus!

More photos from the iphone

"Is this a Thera-band or a scarf?"

"Mom, you need to work on those wrinkles."

Things unseen

Today I am grateful for my earthly Valentines and my Ultimate Valentine, all of whom I will take time to cherish no matter what the house looks like.

From Ann at A Holy Experience, on 9/30/09:

"I water this grove of children. The water pours and think how I want a crumbless, smudgeless, spotless house, a house with empty laundry baskets, empty sinks, empty garbage cans, with floors like mirrors and mirrors like water, and a pantry lined neat like books in the study and pies lining the counter like sweet children all in a row. I want the (seeming) perfection all day that only happens at night when the whirl slows to a still and the six children sleep, their books and their legos, their papers and their creations, all finding their resting places too. I want a father-in-law who walks in mid-spin and sees what I have done with a day, with a week, and smiles his satisfaction.

I want things seen.

These can be idols.

This, I am learning."